missing something in my life.

I miss PACO. We had a great relationship this past summer. Started out well. And now, I'm sorry to say that I thought other things were more important than him and that we didn't need to spend as much time together. I've been a very neglectful friend.

Seriously though, I really do miss taking pictures, being creative without having any boundaries. I am taking Drawing, but I have to follow guidelines and make sure that everything is realistic. I have no freedom.

But, Paco & I did take an outing the other day. It reminded me that having an attitude of being free and creative and open to what happens is sometimes the best medicine.

To you and me, PACO.

live music is the best music.

Over the past month, something that I've decided I love is a really good concert. I should be saying to myself, "Duh, Abby, of course they are great, what have you been spending your time doing?" 

But, it's a new revelation for me. I tend to be a little slow in realizing things that are right in front of me.

Concerts just combine all of the top parts of life that I love. Singing out loud, even when I don't really know the words. Being with really great people who I just love. And, most importantly...

DANCING. Not just your casual snap your fingers and bob your head. ALL OUT DANCING. The kind where you don't care what you look like. And you're shaking your hips like they don't lie. And your arms are moving in ways that they have never moved before.

The kind of dancing that is often associated with older, drunk women at concerts who look like they may or may not be on something. That's the kind of dancing that I love.

And, I don't have to wait until I'm old, or drunk, or on drugs, I can dance my heart out like that right now at any concert I'm at. Just because I love live music and where I'm at in that moment of time.

Butlerpalooza: Smashmouth & Chiddy Bang

Jason Mraz & Christina Perri

 Drew Holcomb, Parachute & NEEDTOBREATHE

Earth, Wind & Fire

writing.

Sometimes I question why I write. Why do I need to take the time to record my thoughts? Shouldn't I be out living my life? 

The truth is...writing, and then sharing my writing, is what makes the living more real. It makes me look for the important things and search for a good story in my own life. Writing makes me slow down and stop for a second. My hands that write and type can't always keep up with my brain. Writing makes me reflect and be calm and breathe. 

Writing doesn't always seem worth it. Sometimes it's too much work. And too hard to think about things. It's much easier to mindlessly sit in front of the TV and deny myself the chance to figure out how I'm really feeling. 

But, there is a balance between writing and living. One of my favorite authors, Shauna Niequist, is coming out with a new book and posted about the act of writing. Every single word that she comes up with is poetic and I can't wait until the Spring for her book. 

"The writing I do is about daily life, and if I spend too much time writing, there’s not enough time for living—for dinner parties and walks to the park, for being a friend and wife and mother and daughter. My living time to writing time ratio is very, very heavily weighted toward the living, and that’s just exactly how I like it. Another person would build a lot more houses in the time it takes me to hammer away at one, but that’s the way it works for me."

You can read more about her blog here. 

known for.

Over the past few weeks, I've had the same conversation with various groups of people. That means I think it's an important topic of discussion, want to know everyone's thoughts, and want to share mine.

Questions is: What do you want to be known for? 

Takes some thought to process, doesn't it? My immediate reaction to say something cute and fluffy like "love everybody." Or "be really nice."

All really great things. I want to be a nice person who loves everyone.

But, I finally came up with this.

I want to be known as someone who is different. 

To strangers and acquaintances, I want to be seen as someone who doesn't live her life like everyone else. I don't follow the crowd. I don't always take the way that is easiest. People see me and know that I don't put all my hope in this world. 

To my friends and family, I want to be seen as someone who lives creatively, always seeking a new adventure and new experience. I don't do what has been done before. I want to be known as someone who tries to be a leader, but not because I have to. Because I just am. I just do it. 

Is that my final answer? Yes.

Also, here's a fun little video that I found while perusing through my Social Psychology textbook.

What do you want to be known for? 

i miss dogs

The more I'm away at college, the more I realize that I really, really, REALLY love dogs. Not like in a a creepy, dog lady way. More normal than that.

But, I'm definitely in a place where I could snuggle with any and all dogs that I see. And miss my dog the most out of any member of my family.

Good thing that one of my sorority sisters is illegally keeping a puppy in her apartment on campus. Four months old. Named Jaz. You don't even need a picture to know how cute that is.

Also, good thing that I go to a school where a dog is the mascot. Walking down to turn in some paperwork yesterday afternoon, I casually came upon our two Butler bulldogs. Just playing in their sectioned-off hallway. And by playing, I mean fighting. I had to stop & show them some love.

Blue II and Blue III (also known as Trip) are Butler's pride and joy.

showing up

Have you heard about the book, Love Does, by Bob Goff?

It's one of those life-changing books that makes you stop after each chapter and be amazed by how these words are changing how you see a lot of things in the world. And highlight and underline and dog-ear pages. And then once the last page is turned, it's back to the beginning to start again.

The best message of the book is that we can all say that we love Jesus and we love what He did. But, what does that mean in my life? How does that affect the way I wake up in the morning and how I choose to spend my time? How does it affect my views of my relationships with not only my best friends, but also strangers?

We have to get to the DO part of faith.

"That's because love is never stationary. In the end, love doesn't just keep thinking about it or keep planning for it. Simply put: love does." 

I'm trying to live a life where showing up and being present is commonplace and is what I do. I'm trying to embrace spontaniety and saying yes. I don't want to be known as a person who is all talk and just sits around. I feel different when I make it a priority and I hope that other people see the same.

I don't know if I'll ever regret saying yes to love and to doing. It's always worth it.

gotta do what you've gotta do

I hate school. I really do. I know that no one really likes school, but I think I fall on the more dislike-ful  side of the spectrum. I'm not a huge fan of sitting in classes, listening. I'm not a huge fan of reading books about psychology experiments or how social problems affect our society. I don't really enjoy writing papers or studying for tests.

But, it's something that I've got to do. Don't get me wrong, I do really love learning. I love learning about people and what makes them tick. I love museums and new experiences and trying something different. I'm all about learning.

Because the school part of college is something that I've got to do and get done, I think that this year, my focus is going to be making it fun. I don't really know how that's going to work out practically. I do know that if I set myself up as best as I can to be enjoying myself, then I will maybe enjoying studying a teensy tiny bit more.

So, today, I'm being the hipster study-er. I'm at my favorite local coffee shop, drinking a pot of Lilli's Blend hot tea, with my warm flannel worn over my white v-neck, listening to a folksy/instrumental/indie playlist, all while the hurricane rains pour outside the window.

See, look at how much fun I'm having while studying!

the best part of a day.

Adjusting is hard. It's strange getting used to being back in Indianapolis: the room, the weather, the people. It's all a good amount of strange, not enough to make me feel any less than myself. I'm still embracing it, with a skip in my step and some good happy yelling.

But, it's still weird. I'm not seeing the people I spent my summer with. I miss porch sitting at 641 Remington with Manda. I miss precious time with Katie & Ellen. I miss enjoying the Colorado outdoors with my mom & dad.

The most confusing transition, though, is watching my baby bro head off to his freshmen year of college. Wasn't I just in that same boat??? It sure feels like it. And, as much as college really rocks, there are also lots of times where it's really really hard. And, so like any big sister would, I worry and hope and pray that he is having the time of his life off at School of Mines...(emphasis on the MINES, not MINDS....or MIMES, like 80% of people think I say. There really isn't a school for becoming a professional mime. There might be, but Jared is not planning on being one of them.)

And I know he is. Because we finally got to chat & see each other's rooms & ask good questions about what the first two weeks of school were like. Because he is studying hard...lots of Calculus & Physics (we're very different in that way.) Because he's making friends, but also because he's being himself & not trying to be someone that other people want him to be. My little Jar-Bear, growing up.

It was the best part of my last two weeks.

Also, in other unrelated news...one of my best friends from home, Miss Taryn Marie Hunt, has started her very own blog. It's great! And I'm proud of her for taking this step, even if it's just so I can read about her life & thoughts. Still worth it, Taryn!